Saturday, May 4, 2013

What If You Knew Today Would Be The Last Day You Would Ever See Your Child?


Walker and Sally May 2, 2009 



I'm venturing away from my normal interior design related posts today to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart.  It's not a subject that any mother wants to think about, but "what if today was the last day you would ever get to see your child face to face"?  Unthinkable, right?  Well, four years ago, on this Saturday, our family was happily preparing for my niece, CharlesAnna's wedding.  I started the day around 6 am  by rushing over to the tents being dressed on the grounds of my childhood home in preparation for the big event.  It was a long, hot day but we worked with excitement to get everything done.  Our big family weddings are always so much fun.  I grew up in a large family so family gatherings are part of my DNA. 

My son Walker and his girlfriend Sally were driving in from Auburn for the big event.  They arrived at my mom's, while I was over at the tents working.  It was a crazy busy day for me.  I left the tents after getting everything just the way it was suppose to be and ran over to my mom's to dress for the wedding.  I only had 15 mins. to shower, dress, fix hair and drive to the church in time to sit with the family before the ceremony.  When I arrived at Mom's, Walker and Sally were there waiting for me.  It was my first time meeting Sally.  I quickly exchanges pleasantries and scrambled to dress.  We all flew to the church and were seated seconds before the trumpeter sounded and the mother's enter the ceremony.  The wedding went off without a hitch and before we knew it we were all back at the tents, where I had spent the day working. I have to admit by that point, I was too tired to be very engaging, but wanted to visit and thank our friends who had driven to be part of the event.  Walker and Sally were sitting at a table behind me.  I never went and sat with them.  My plans were to visit with them once the wedding was over at mom's later that night.  What I didn't know was that their plans were  to leave that night and drive to our beach house.   I was sitting with friends chatting and Walker walked up and said we are leaving.  I said what?  He said I spilled cocktail sauce on my tux shirt and we are leaving.  I said, "well, I'll see you back at mom's and he said, "no we are leaving and going to the beach house".   I said what?  I didn't get to even visit with you and Sally.  He said well, "Mom, you are just too busy".   Those words still sting to this day.  I hear them all the time ringing in my ears.  Lately, when I have been so busy with the show house, clients, travel, market and all the other things that I have been involved in, I hear those words.  So that is legacy that my son left to me the week before Mother's Day.  The last time I ever saw him face to face.  "Mom, your are too busy".
If you knew today was the last day to see someone you love, what would your day look like? I'll bet we would all make different choices, wouldn't we?  Don't do what I did, and miss the chance to seize the moment.  You never get the chance to go back and make things right.  If we could, do you know what I would have done?  Instead of talking to friends that night or worrying about the candles that wouldn't light or cleaning off tables for guests that weren't getting cleared fast enough for my liking, I would have gone and sat with my son and asked him about his week, taken the chance to get to know his sweet girlfriend and lapped up every word that came out of his mouth.  I would have looked in his eyes and tried to memorize every feature on his face.  

Today, I am "not going to be busy"  Instead, I am going to spend quality time with my family.  I will think about Walker and all the happiness he brought to my life.  I will cherish the memories because that is what I have left.  If you have lost a child or loved one, you know what I'm talking about.  But my friend, if you still have your beautiful child, make sure you take today to stare in their eyes or listen to their voice.  It is a true gift from God and one that shouldn't be taken lightly.  

Via

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49 comments:

  1. Oh Lisa, I am so sorry~ I have just been sobbing reading this and I so want to give you a hug right now. I am a first-time mom and my daughter is about to turn one in a few days (how time flies) and I have taken your post to heart. One of my good friends almost passed away recently, and for that brief time where we weren't sure if he was going to make it, it really made me (and my husband) think about life and how we should treasure every second because you just never know what might happen.

    Thank you so much for sharing such a personal & private experience. It's a a great message to share and I hope people take it to heart.

    xoxo,
    Christina

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  2. Lisa. I am about to board an airplane right now with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. God. If we could all read this and apply it to our life but sad to say we think about it for a few minutes and go on with things. It's gut wrenching to think of what happened to you. I am so very sorry.

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    1. Sherry, thank you for reading and commenting. I don't know where you are off to but can only hope you enjoy every minute while there. You deserve it! oxox!

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  3. Lisa you are living every mother's worst nightmare and it could so easily happen to any of us. We all know life is short yet that thought is so far from our minds in the day-to-day most of the time. If only your sweet Walker had one more day, I am sure he would have also told you what an incredible mother you are and how much he loves you. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us all how truly precious our time on Earth is. I will make an extra effort today to not leave one opportunity missed to tell my kids how much I love them! Prayers to you today and Mother's Day, I hope it is filled with your favorite memories of your boy.

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    1. Thanks Beth for stopping by and commenting! Enjoy your weekend and live each moment to the fullest!

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  4. Sending you big big hugs and kisses on this day Lisa. You are in my thoughts, Love ya!

    xo
    Edyta

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  5. You are a brave and beautiful creature Lisa Mende! Thank you for sharing this powerful story with the world and although I didnot know him today I will think of your son Walker and honor him by smothering my son with love today. Your family is in my thoughts today! Always -Ryan

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    1. Thank you precious Ryan! Your son is a lucky guy!!!! oxox!!!

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  6. Thank you for this message today. It is Saturday and I am working on a design plan while my children play upstairs. I knew I was missing out, but I thought I HAD to get this plan done today. I am closing the computer now and going upstairs to play barbies with my girls.

    I will think of you today as well. I am so sorry for your loss, but I also thank you for sharing this.

    Lori

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    1. Yes, go play Barbies Lori! That is far more important than the design plan on Saturday. You will remember playing Barbies 25 yrs from now but the design plan will not be a memory. It can wait til monday. Your girls are waiting. They will remember that you played with them long after they are grown and it will remind them to play with their kids, your grandchildren which is way more important.

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  7. You know how I feel for you, Lisa my dear. Your son's beautiful spirit shines thru you to everyone you know.....sending you a strong, loving hug to get you through the day and the weekend and promising you that I will hug my sons tight as often as I can...and I know that meeting you and getting to know your incredible heart has been a blessing for me. xoxo Meredith

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    1. you are an amazing mom. i have no doubt that you do this already! love to you! oxox!!!

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  8. Thank you for sharing this with us Lisa. You are a strong and beautiful soul!!

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  9. This has to be one of the must moving groups of words I've read as of late. Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your heart with us. The beauty of time is something I truly cherish and will do so even more today. Much love to you and your family Lisa,
    Antointte, x

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    1. Thank you Antointte! you are so kind!!! xoxox

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  10. What a beautiful perspective check, Lisa.

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  11. My heart cries out to you. I have not had to face what you have, but close, and one of our sons lost a son. I have made it a point not to end a conversation with any of my three kids or MC, without saying "I Love You". You just never know?

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    1. Thank You Patty! yes, always say I love you!

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  12. Lisa,
    I am sending you a really big hug and a kiss right now. I am so sorry for your loss. I am lucky to still have my son and only child.
    xo, Lissy

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    1. Lissy, I'm so happy you have him!! Kiss him lots!

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  13. I am so sorry Lisa, reading this post really makes me put things into perspective. Thank you for sharing, it really has touched me.

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  14. Lisa, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel. I think about the "what ifs" at this time of year with prom and graduation coming up and am afraid for my children. I am thankful when I hear the door open late on Saturday nights.

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    1. Kerry, the one thing I know for sure is that God is in control and that the worst thing that can happen to our children is they get to be with him, which is way better than this stinking earth but then we miss them like I do Walker but in the end he is where I would chose for him to be at the end of his life. Does that make sense?

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  15. Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing your story. I try to make sure family is number one in my life, but as you know we get busy. We sometimes forget and take for granted the time we spend with them. My husband is a cancer survivor, so in our house we strive to put family first. Enjoy your weekend, and many blessings sent your way! You are one strong lady!!

    Donna

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    1. Thank you Donna! You are a special lady! oxox

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  16. Lisa,
    So beautifully said. Just this morning's sermon reminded me how good we have it each because of the spirit that lives within. No doubt the spirit of your son lives on within you. Never beat yourself up for being too busy, because Christ wants you to be busy as you are spreading your spirit full of joy.
    I wish you joy and love.
    pve

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    1. Thank You Patricia! I feel so incredibly blessed in so many ways. I have such wonderful support from my friends and family! You are one of those that has helped me with my journey in so many ways more than you could ever know! oxox

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  17. A very touching story, thanks for sharing. I'm very sorry for your loss but try to focus on all the good times you had with your son. xx

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  18. Lisa,
    Chills and tears, and my heart aches for you with you. I can't imagine your pain. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and memories and reminding us to take time with our kids. Mine are grown and out but I mentor young mom's and I will pass this along to them.
    Blessings to you.
    xx

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  19. Lisa, I'm sure this incredible post will help others as only transparency can. God Bless.

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  20. Lisa, I have thought of your post all weekend. I am so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you have had to go through. But thank you so much for sharing your story and giving us all the reminder that we should always make the time. Your such an inspiration for me. Thinking of you and hugs and kisses from ct!

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    1. Heather you are so sweet! Thank you so much for your sweet words! oxox!

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  21. Absolutely heart wrecking and I can't even allow my mind to go there. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, lisa.

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    1. Chassity, it is heart wrecking but it also has taught me what is most important in life. Thank you for commenting! xoxox I loved seeing you this week! YOu are such a lovely young woman with so much to offer the world! I am glad we are friends!

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  22. Walker's legacy lives on through you. Such a gorgeous, handsome boy! I ache for your loss. Your story is one of fortitude and everlasting love. I am in awe of your insight into your loss and the meaning and it brings to into your life and those lives you touch.

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    1. Thank You Linda! I appreciate your comments and support! oxoxo!!

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  23. Dear sweet Lisa - I so admire your strength and courage to open your heart and share with all of us. Today, and every day, I will most definitely try and make it a point to stare into my boy's eyes and listen to his voice while memorizing every section on his face.

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    1. Thank You AJ! You are so kind to pop over and comment! Enjoy your sweet boy!!!

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  24. thank you for sharing your personal heartache as a reminder for all of us to celebrate the people we love. everything else is just *stuff*.

    xo.

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    1. You are so right my friend!!! oxox!!! thanks for commenting!

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  25. Lisa,

    What a beautiful post. Thanks for reminding all of us to be grateful for what we have. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way!

    xoxo

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  26. Oh Lisa, you have brought tears to my eyes. I cannot imagine the pain that you feel as a mother that has lost a child. I too have a walker and your story kills me. I know you are an amazing mother and don't let those words haunt you. I know Walker feels the same way and is smiling down at your from heaven. As a mother, we all get caught up in the daily grind and your story makes me realize how import it is to let our loved ones know we love them. Wishing you comfort and peace and amazing memories of Walker during this hard time. Much love, Shannon

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