Part 2

I've had a lot of emails, calls and comments about what I wrote yesterday about the last day I saw my son, Walker.  It's true that you can't go back and change life but sometimes the takeaway is worth revisiting, especially if it is a good message to those around you.  Life rushes by so fast, it's hard to capture the true essence of what we are suppose to gleam from the moments that flicker through our minds and days.  I've come to grips with Walker's last words to me and those words have served to remind me to slow down, enjoy what I have, so that's a good thing.  Yes, it still hurts to think of those stinging words as the last he spoke to me face to face, but as my friend, Lisa reminded me today, "he would be ticked" if he thought that was the legacy he left behind. 

In fairness to Walker, the legacy he left me was to enjoy life, embrace the bumps, scraps and bruises, that this world deals to you and move on.   Am I bitter that I was dealt this terrible blow? Not totally.  "For it is in the valley that the richest growth occurs".  Do I see the world through rose colored glasses?  No.  The glasses have been traded for a very clear vision of what is real and honest in life.  I see situations and people very differently.  I know what is real and who is real.  I see pain and I see vulnerability.   I see the takers and the givers.  I can be honest and real.  I don't worry about what others think of me.  I do what I think is right because I know at the end of the day I have myself reflecting back at me in the mirror.

The loss I feel is self pity.  It's not for my son, because he is totally happy, that I'm sure.

Would I give a million dollars to see my son right now?  Why, yes!  Do I regret that I have to live my last days on earth without him?  Never got to see his wedding, children or watch him grow into the man I knew he would one day be?  

Yes and no....  you see, when my children were first born, my continual prayer has been to guide them with their faith in hopes they would someday reach Heaven and eternal life.  Guess what...I got my wish.   You see, when you lose a child, God provides a way for you to know without a doubt that your child is in Heaven, right where you always wish they would be.  Some people may read this and think I have lost my mind, but given my choices this is what I would chose.  Unthinkable, right?  Well, it goes a little like this...If God gave me the chance to go first and leave my children on earth, I would say no! This old world is too horrible for children to be left without parents.  Take my child because then I know they would be living more gloriously than ever on Earth.  The reality is no one would ever what to chose that option but once the choice is made for you, it's simple to see which is the more optional result.  Earth is hard.  It's always throwing you curveballs.  Heaven isn't like that.

As I said before, once you have a tragedy like I have experienced, God makes you privy to things you would otherwise never know about.  There have been some amazing things that have happened leading up to, during and after Walker's accident.  I am trying to record all the incidences so others can read about them in hopes of helping others see just how amazingly our lives are planned.  There are no accidents.  We waltz through life thinking we are in control.  We think we keep our children safe and that we are totally in control of our fate, but I argue otherwise.  Do we get to exercise "freewill"?  I think so as far as it comes to picking out what we are wearing for the day, the color of our car, or what we decide to do with our day, but the ultimate plan is not ours.  Relax, enjoy your life, watch for the signs, they are all in place.  Experiencing death be it your child, husband or friend opens your awareness to the life that is just over the bend.  Earth is just a dress rehearsal.  

 "The wound is the place where the Light enters you."   - Rumi

Brackish Bowties for Your Man...

 The Guinea $120

Jive Turkey $98

Phunky Pheasant  $110

Carolina Copper $89

Have you been introduced to Brackish Bow Ties?  Well, if not...let me be the first to introduce you!  Ben Ross created these handsome works of art for his groomsmen and turned the men's formal wear scene upside down!  Here's how it started! Let's face it, not all men enjoy dressing up in a tux or sportcoat for formal events.  Enter the Brackish Bow Tie...the manly man's way of accessorizing his formal attire. It is a custom handcrafted feather bow tie. Guys and girls alike love them for their unique look!  If you have a great outdoorsman in your family, that loves to hunt, these may be a favorite for Father's Day, graduation or birthdays!  

I called and told Ben I wanted a Brackish Bow Tie for my show house room and he sent one so quick it made my head spin!  I was so impressed with the way it was packaged and presented.  Guess what I'm giving for Father's Day! Your guy will love you for buying him something that gets compliments whenever he wears it.
Order yours today!

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What If You Knew Today Would Be The Last Day You Would Ever See Your Child?

Walker and Sally May 2, 2009 

I'm venturing away from my normal interior design related posts today to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart.  It's not a subject that any mother wants to think about, but "what if today was the last day you would ever get to see your child face to face"?  Unthinkable, right?  Well, four years ago, on this Saturday, our family was happily preparing for my niece, CharlesAnna's wedding.  I started the day around 6 am  by rushing over to the tents being dressed on the grounds of my childhood home in preparation for the big event.  It was a long, hot day but we worked with excitement to get everything done.  Our big family weddings are always so much fun.  I grew up in a large family so family gatherings are part of my DNA. 

My son Walker and his girlfriend Sally were driving in from Auburn for the big event.  They arrived at my mom's, while I was over at the tents working.  It was a crazy busy day for me.  I left the tents after getting everything just the way it was suppose to be and ran over to my mom's to dress for the wedding.  I only had 15 mins. to shower, dress, fix hair and drive to the church in time to sit with the family before the ceremony.  When I arrived at Mom's, Walker and Sally were there waiting for me.  It was my first time meeting Sally.  I quickly exchanges pleasantries and scrambled to dress.  We all flew to the church and were seated seconds before the trumpeter sounded and the mother's enter the ceremony.  The wedding went off without a hitch and before we knew it we were all back at the tents, where I had spent the day working. I have to admit by that point, I was too tired to be very engaging, but wanted to visit and thank our friends who had driven to be part of the event.  Walker and Sally were sitting at a table behind me.  I never went and sat with them.  My plans were to visit with them once the wedding was over at mom's later that night.  What I didn't know was that their plans were  to leave that night and drive to our beach house.   I was sitting with friends chatting and Walker walked up and said we are leaving.  I said what?  He said I spilled cocktail sauce on my tux shirt and we are leaving.  I said, "well, I'll see you back at mom's and he said, "no we are leaving and going to the beach house".   I said what?  I didn't get to even visit with you and Sally.  He said well, "Mom, you are just too busy".   Those words still sting to this day.  I hear them all the time ringing in my ears.  Lately, when I have been so busy with the show house, clients, travel, market and all the other things that I have been involved in, I hear those words.  So that is legacy that my son left to me the week before Mother's Day.  The last time I ever saw him face to face.  "Mom, your are too busy".

If you knew today was the last day to see someone you love, what would your day look like? I'll bet we would all make different choices, wouldn't we?  Don't do what I did, and miss the chance to seize the moment.  You never get the chance to go back and make things right.  If we could, do you know what I would have done?  Instead of talking to friends that night or worrying about the candles that wouldn't light or cleaning off tables for guests that weren't getting cleared fast enough for my liking, I would have gone and sat with my son and asked him about his week, taken the chance to get to know his sweet girlfriend and lapped up every word that came out of his mouth.  I would have looked in his eyes and tried to memorize every feature on his face.  

Today, I am "not going to be busy"  Instead, I am going to spend quality time with my family.  I will think about Walker and all the happiness he brought to my life.  I will cherish the memories because that is what I have left.  If you have lost a child or loved one, you know what I'm talking about.  But my friend, if you still have your beautiful child, make sure you take today to stare in their eyes or listen to their voice.  It is a true gift from God and one that shouldn't be taken lightly.  

Via

The Southern Coterie Summit

I just returned from the inaugural "Southern Coterie Summit held at Jekyll Island the past three days.  What Whitney Long and Cheri Leavy have created is nothing short of genius.  The was my third blog conference this year, but the first where I felt the genuine hospitality of the hostesses.  Of course that could be because this was the first one held in the south!  You know we southerners like to entertain and take care of our guest.  I think that i taught at birth here. I didn't know Whitney or Cheri prior to attending the event, other than online.  I now feel like we are all old friends.  The quality and content of what I learned over the past three days have my me rethinking my approach to my blog and investigating now options.  I can't wait to share everything I experience but honestly it is too for one post.  To be fair to the conference my coverage of it will be broken down into several posts.  

Don't Miss This Curated Sale From Design Pro - Denise McGaha

When I first saw this kitchen online I nearly flipped!  It was fresh, fun and fabulous!  The icing on the cake was the ingenious backsplash which sported Trina Turk fabric covered by removable glass panels, that offers the option of changing out the fabric with the snap of a finger.  I had to find out who designed this incredible space which led me to an intense online search.  The internet Gods were good and delivered me to the exact spot of creation and the beginning of a friendship with an incredible woman...the  fabulous Denise McGaha!  Not only is Denise beautiful, talented and driven, she also processes a beautiful heart!  My friendship with Denise has been a bright spot on my road back to my design business.  I look to Denise often when I am in a search for clients, so it's only natural that I would direct all of you to her curated Joss & Main Sale which is currently happening!  Make sure you pop over and check out the expertly curated collection she has created just for you!  

Here's a few of my favorites from the sale but there is much, much more!